Shoulda Woulda Coula 9/9/16

Happy Friday muchachos. So there are a lot of things that our favorite companies do that have us very excited and then let us down big time.  Last time I wrote about Future's End, which we all hoped was going to be a lot better than it was.  This time I want to touch on the Marvel Hip Hop covers. I thought a lot of them were amazing, but really had nothing to do with the books, which lets be real with the variant craze, a lot of the variants have this problem.  If I had been in the Marvel's writing room when this popped up, I would have pitched the idea that they are one or two shots that go with the hip hop covers.  I realize that most of this music is way too offensive for Marvel to use, but if they can play it on the radio, I'm sure they could work something out. I will give you some examples.

1. Black Panther - Jay-Z - 99 Problems/Dirt Off Your Shoulder - I know they would never do this song because it disrespects the whole female gender, but his woman situation is handled and he has 99+ problems in this new book. However, if they wanted to do a one shot where he is in New York and gets racially profiled, specially what has been going on lately. They wouldn't have to reference the song directly but give a big wink to it. Lyrics that would work:

"Do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back
And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or something?"
"Or somebody important or something?"
Nah I ain't passed the bar but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my ish.

BOOM. How awesome would something like that in the Black Panther book.   The other song they could have wrote is Dirt off your shoulder.  With their writers it would be incredibly easy to weave in something like when T'Challa fighting for the throne and the right to be the Black Panther, some people would be proud, some jealous.

All the ballers is bouncin' they like the way I be leanin'
All the rappers be hatin', off the track that I'm makin'
But all the hustlers they love it just to see one of us make it
Came from the bottom the bottom, to the top of the pots

2. Uncanny Inhumans - Outkast - Rosa Parks/SpottieOttiedopaliscious - Since Marvel is forcing the Inhumans down our throat they have a lot of characters to play with. I think a one shot where they find some new Inhumans that are unhappy in their situation and being persecuted against.

Said baby boy you only funky as your last cut
You focus on the past your @$$'ll be a has what
that's one to live by or either that one to die to
I try to just throw it at you determine your own adventure
Andre, got to her station here's my destination

They could also use SpottieOttiedopaliscious track where they find an Inhuman like Ulysses who needs to step up and take responsibility. It is lesson that they have done to death and sure they could put a nice little Inhuman twist to it.

One moment you frequent the booty clubs &
the next four years you & somebody's daughter
raisin' y'all own young'n now that's a beautiful thang
that's if you're on top of your game
and man enough to handle real life situations [that is]
Can't gamble feeding baby on that dope money
might not always be sufficient but the
United Parcel Service & the people at the Post Office
didn't call you back because you had cloudy piss

3. Iron Man - 50 Cent - Patiently Waiting - Tony Stark would be incredibly easy to fit in with any rappers lyrics.  Do you call it bragging if it is still true?  Absolutely. He is incredibly arrogant which most rappers are and have to be.  With the lines below they could have done him writing a memoir about how he grew up without a dad or his problems with alcoholism.

Picture me pen in hand write lines knowing the source'll quote it
When I die, they'll read this and say a genius wrote it
I grew up without my pops should that make me bitter?
I caught cases I copped out does that make me a quitter?

4. Silver Surfer - Drake - Connect - Silver Surfer is a great character with a tragic past. I am sure there are a ton of Drake's songs that would fit just as well, but they could do a flash back to his paramore  before he was Galactus' herald.

I remember when my schedule was as flexible as she is
She call and tell me be here before the sun up
I be dressed before we hung up
I take Eglinton to 401 east
And exit at Markham road and the East end
Where all the pretty girls are sleeping

Missed Opportunities: The Game - Martians vs. Goblins - This song is awesome especially since they mention Blanca from Street fighter, Spiderman and The Hulk. How could they not do a cover with him?

Martians versus Goblins, goons versus the crooks
And since me and Tune had Viacom shook
I shoulda got a real-@$$ pirate to do the hook
Maybe Jack Sparrow maybe Peter Pan's nemesis
My power's limitless like Blanca on Sega Genesis
Superhero, mad that Marvel overlooked me
Cause Spiderman and Hulk straight....

Missed Opportunities: Random or Mega Ran depending on how you look him up - Splash Woman - This song is great with an 8 bit tune and basically about a Megaman level.  This one is pretty self explanatory and would be so easy to turn into a book.  If you are a Megaman fan or an 8-bit fan you have to check this song out.

She used to save victims that fell through the surface
A few days ago her contract expired
And she was scheduled to be thrown into the fire
And Wily gave her a reason to live
So now she gotta do what he says
She shed a tear and said you don't understand
I gotta stick to the plan, I owe everything to this man
So please Mega Ran, don't take it personal
Cause it hurts I know, I'll make it worse y'know
But he saved me baby
To turn my back on Wily would be just plain crazy
She said it's the only way it can end
Let the, battle begin and we can't be friends
So my heart sunk low as the lair door closed
Drew the Mega Buster cause it's time to roll, here we go
What do you guys think? Any covers that could be turned into books?  Am I a moron and is this a terrible idea? Let me know in the comments.

Top Ten

Sup fellas. Happy Thursday. Since I wrote about Marvel last week. I will address the top ten DC Villians. I will use the same criteria as last week and will not count Doomsday and his omega beams or Parrallax. There have been a couple others that I have ignored like Mongul, or Brianiac, but meh they have never really captured my imagination.  I had a hard time not putting more Batman villians on here, but that may be my bias getting in the way.

 10. Gorilla Grodd - Gorilla Grodd is incredibly intelligent and strong, not only that, he has telekinetic powers and some telepathic mind control. I actually enjoyed the New 52 take on Gorilla Grodd, but it made me curious to go back and look at other story lines with him.  The idea of Gorilla City gives him a couple extra awesome points.

9.Mr. Freeze - My first exposure to Mr. Freeze was Batman The Animated Series.  He was one of my favorite villains, from voice to design to background story.  The modern age comics also built his background around this.  The New 52 did a little different, Batman Annual #1 written by Snyder and Tynion was a great read. Anytime Mr. Freeze is involved, it is something that I will read.

8. Amazo - Amazo has been under utilized, but in the recent arc the Amazo Virus, they did a great job using him in a new way. Amazo is very powerful and has beaten the Justice League a couple of times and can duplicate their powers.  The potential of a great villain is there, but has not been reached yet.

7. Sinestro - I used to hate Sinestro, especially the one from the Super friends waaaay back in the day.  However, he is a unique character that thinks he is doing the right thing and making the galaxy a better place. Geoff Johns Green Lantern run was amazing and Sinestro was so well written that he was turned into an awesome villain that you sometimes feel yourself rooting for.  Additionally, even though the Green Lantern movie was trash, I thought they did a great job of portraying Sinestro in that movie.

6. Black Manta - This is another character that I used to dislike, but that was due to the disrespect that I was showing to Aquaman. What made me take a closer look at Black Manta was the Brightest Day Story, wherein he is basically living a normal life, but once he finds out Aquaman is alive he kills everyone in his store and swears revenge on Aquaman again. I really like his helmet and suit design, which enhances his already enhanced strength and speed. Black Manta does not get the respect he deserves, but he should.

5. Bane - Bane is one of my favorite villains ever. Bane is incredibly intelligent and incredibly strong.  He broke Batman's back literally. Every version of him in cartoons or movies have been awful.  They always portray him as a strong guy with no brain, but the beauty of the character is that his brain is equal to his brawn.

4. Deathstroke - Deathstroke may not be the most powerful, but he is like an evil version of Batman.  He has a code, extremely skilled in hand to hand combat and every imaginable weapon.  He can hold his own against anyone of the super heroes except Superman. Deathstroke also inspired Deadpool, which is freaking awesome.

3. Black Adam - There have been a ton of iterations of Black Adam. It seems like him and Captain Marvel/Shazam and Superman all have about the same amount of power.  However, he is incredibly ruthless and always does what's best for Black Adam.  Black Adam the Dark Age is what turned me onto Black Adam. Thought it was a great story and showed depth and how much of a hard@$$ he is.

2. Parasite - Parasite is only as strong as the energy he can steal, but if he gets his hands on a super watch out.  The best part of Parasite, which I have only seen used in the Superman The Animated Series, is that not only does he steal strength he also steals knowledge. Image if he stole Superman's Powers and Batman's knowledge, he would be unstoppable.

1. Joker - There have been many iterations of the Joker that have been fantastic, The Killing Joke, A Death in the Family, both versions, Mark Hamil, Heath Ledger and Jack Nicholson. He is crazy, smart and unpredictable. He truly installs fear in Batman and is the most dangerous villain of them all.  To further prove this point, the Joker tricked Superman into killing Lois Lane.  Superman was transformed into an insane killer, which led to Superman punching a hole into the Joker's chest.

Covers Of The Week

Hola Muchachos. Welcome to the covers of the week section.  I can't be the only one that sees an awesome cover and buys the book based off that.  There are a lot of great covers this week.  It was hard to choose a winner especially since there are 3 great Moon Knight covers. Let me know if I missed one.

Cover of the Week

Moon Knight #6 Cover D Classic Variant

This cover is incredible and reminds me of a Spawn mixed with Batman cover.

Runners Up  

Batman Beyond #16 Cover A By Bernard Chang

 Green Arrow #6 Cover B By Neal Adams 

Invincible Iron Man #13 Cover B By Chris Stevens

Moon Knight #6 Cover C Defenders Cover

Nailbiter #25

Uncanny X-Men #12 Cover A By Greg Land

New No.1's

Hola Nerdmigos, Happy Tuesday.  Hope you enjoyed the 3 day weekend. I have picked out 5 of the best new books that are coming out this week. It's hard to keep up with so many books coming out every week and sometimes sold out by the time you make it to your local comic book store. Hopefully this helps you find something new that you wouldn't have noticed otherwise.  Have fun.

W: John Semper Jr. A: Paul Pelletier

Cyborg #1 - Victor Stone was once a star athlete and brilliant student with a bright future. But after a tragic accident destroyed over half of his body, Victor was kept alive by merging flesh with advanced technology. Today he is the Justice League co-founder called Cyborg. But is the young hero a man, or a machine that merely believes it's a man? Victor Stone was once a star athlete and brilliant student with a bright future. But after a tragic accident destroyed over half of his body, Victor was kept alive by merging flesh with advanced technology. Today he is the Justice League co-founder called Cyborg. But is the young hero a man, or a machine that merely believes it's a man?

I have never been a Cyborg fan, but might as well give him a try.  I didn't like how they stuck him with the new Justice League during the New 52 relaunch.  He is a Teen Titan and should be a Teen Titan.  However, DC continues to insist that he is a Justice Leaguer, so let's check out his solo book.

W: Steve Orlando A: Brian Ching

Supergirl #1 - 'REIGN OF THE CYBORG SUPERMAN' part one! Supergirl is back and working for the DEO to defend National City! As Kara Danvers, average American teenager and high school student, Supergirl must balance her life as a superhero with her new life on Earth. But some demons from her Kryptonian past are coming back to haunt her, and Kara will find herself face-to-face with her father: the sinister Cyborg Superman!

Again this is a character that I could never get behind, but the art on this one really calls my name. I am hoping this turns into the Spidergwen of the DC Universe. This is one I will check out, but might bail on early. 

W: Ben Fisher A: Adam Markiewicz

Great Divide #1 - In the near future, humanity awakens to the horrifying reality that the faintest touch from another's skin results in agonizing death. The survivors isolate themselves, many driven mad by fragments of memories 'absorbed' from those they've killed. Two years after the 'Divide,' a pair of thieves stumble upon the means to save their species. But not everyone is eager to see the old world order restored. 

This seems like the typical post apocalyptic tale.  I always pick these up, sometimes they are a good read and some times they are a bad rip off of the walking dead. The cover on this one is what really caught my attention.

W: Jim Zub A: Djibril Morissette

Glitterbomb #1 - Farrah Durante is a middle-aged actress hunting for her next gig in an industry where youth trumps experience. Her frustrations become an emotional lure for something horrifying out beyond the water, something ready to exact revenge on the shallow celebrity-obsessed culture that's led her astray. Fan-favorite JIM ZUB (WAYWARD, Thunderbolts) and newcomer DJIBRIL MORISSETTE-PHAN tear into the heart of Hollywood in GLITTERBOMB, a dramatic horror story about fame and failure. "A gut-punch of glitz and blood and starf**ked culture. You want to read this." - Chuck Wendig (Blackbirds)

This one looks interesting.  It looks dark and disturbing and the art looks great.  It looks like a great commentary about our celebrity obsessed culture. Pick it up and take a chance.  Wayward wasn't for me, but I know a lot of people that loved it.

W: Zachary Kaplan A: Giovanni Timpano

Eclipse #1 - Imagine if sunlight burned you alive. In the near future, a mysterious solar event has transformed the sun's light into deadly immolating rays. The world's few survivors now live in nocturnal cities. But a killer emerges who uses sunlight to burn his victims, and when he targets the daughter of a solar power mogul, it falls to a disillusioned solar engineer to protect her.

I read a preview for this awhile back and really liked the premise.  I have been waiting for this book ever since.  A murder mystery in a post apocalyptic future. Yes please.  The human race having to live in darkness all the time, but relying on solar energy.

Don't agree? Pick up something new? Let me know in the comments.  

5 Must Buys

Sup Brosephs.  Happy Monday, Labor Day and 3 day weekend. Welcome back to the 5 Must Buys. There are a lot of great books this week and some can't make the cut. As you know, I have been enjoying DC's Rebirth.  All New All Different Marvel really hasn't been doing it for me, but there are some gems in there including Vision, Old Man Logan, Dr. Strange, Moon Knight and Black Panther.  Here is the list of what you should be picking up:

W: Tom King A: Ivan Reis

Batman No. 6 - 'I AM GOTHAM' epilogue. In this stand-alone tale, Batman seeks redemption as he tries to keep Gotham Girl from going down a dangerous path. But can the Dark Knight save someone who doesn't want to be saved?

Tom King has been doing a great job on Batman. Now that the story of Gotham is done, it looks like it is Gotham Girls turn.  According to her, her and Duke Thomas are going to get married and she may or may not kill Batman. This has potential to be good, but after Jim Gordon being Batman, it might be a little to early to kill off Batman again.  Hopefully Tom King will lead us down a dark and twisty path.

W: Ben Percy A: Stephen Byrne

Green  Arrow No. 6 - 'SINS OF THE MOTHER'! Following the shocking events with the Ninth Circle, Green Arrow's wayward sister/sidekick Emiko travels to Japan on a quest to destroy the crime lords who control her mother, Shado, the assassin who murdered Oliver Queen.

Since the Rebirth Green Arrow has been one of the best DC books coming out.  I liked the relationship between Green Arrow and Black Canary. With Oliver Queen's allies turning their back on him for most of the previous arc, it was nice to see them working together again. Hopefully they will continue to explore Oliver's relationships with his allies.

W: Ed Brubaker A: Sean Phillips

Kill or Be Killed No. 2 - The second chapter in Brubaker, Phillips and Breitweiser's new hit book! Every killer has to have his first kill, and they're never easy.

Kill or Be Killed No. 1 as great.  It was not what I was expecting.  Brubaker weaves a dark tale with super natural aspects that were great. This is something that you should be reading. The second print of number one is coming out this week in case you missed it.    

W: Robert Kirkman A: Charlie Adlard

The Walking Dead No. 158 - THE WHISPERER WAR' Part TwoThe war rages on.

What can I say about the Walking Dead that you haven't heard.  If you aren't reading this by now, pick up the trade paper backs and catch up. Catch up NOW!!! Negan is free and causing problems again. Negan is one of the most interesting villains around today.  You never know what he is going to say or do besides cuss.  

W: Jeff Lemire A: Greg Smallwood

Moon Knight #6 - 'INCARNATIONS' STARTS NOW! Marc Spector broke his body to escape the prison Khonshu built for his mind…And Stephen Grant awoke in New York City, ready to produce Marvel's next box-office smash! It's a happy ending-unless Marc is still trapped somewhere.

Moon knight has been a trip in this new book. Lemire has been great.  Can't tell what is real what is in his mind. I have never been a Moon Knight fan, but this makes me want to go back and read more Moon Knight stories. This is a book that can open the character up to a whole new audience.

Honorable Mentions:
Superman #6, Sheriff of Babylon#10, Doctor Strange # 11, Daredevil #11 and Nailbiter #25.

Delayed Post

Hey Guys,

I got free tickets to the Chargers game last night so I wasn't be able to write my normal Friday Reviews and my Coulda Woulda Shoulda.  I am going to write both tonight and tomorrow night and post this weekend.  My car almost got towed.  Had to fight with the HOA and the Towing company. Visitor or Permit parking would mean visitors to the complex or people who live in the complex may park there right?  Wrong. They gave up pretty easy, so am assuming that they have had this problem before and can't win in court.

BOOOO ILLEGAL TOWING!!!!

Top Ten Marvel Villians

Welcome back to the Top Ten.  As always I will be narrowing down Marvel's villians down to the top ten. The Criteria that I am using is not sheer power, otherwise the Beyonder, Galactis and Thanos would be at the top of this list.  Characters like that are hard to get behind because they are so over powered and if they didn't give a villain speech or wait until all the superheroes band together and fight them, they could just walk in and win.  For this list I used five factors, character depth, intrigue, likability, strength and design. Didn't realize how much of a man crush I have on Spiderman until I started this list.

Honorable Mention: Sergei Kravinoff aka. Kraven the Hunter - Kraven starts out as a big game hunter in Africa and depending on what you read or watch gains his power from a serum created by his Doctor girlfriend or a potion stolen from a witchdoctor. The story line that puts craven among the best villains that Marvel has, has to be Kraven's Last Hunt. Not only does Kraven beat Spiderman and then bury him for two weeks, he also dons the mask and is a better Spiderman than Spiderman. Not only could he have killed Spiderman, he could have taken his place and fought for justice in his own way.

10. Maestro - Maestro is an alternate future version of the Hulk.  He still retains his intelligence, unlike the Hulks from Old Man Logan, but slowly loses his humanity and feels extreme bitterness towards the rest of the world.  The best part of this is that it could actually happen with The Hulk. The Hulk seems never to be in full control of his emotions and could be one catastrophic event away from being a bad guy. Maestro even gets more power from radiation that he has absorbed and has more experience than The Hulk, which is why he is able to break the Hulk's neck.

9. Wilson Fisk aka The Kingpin - The Kingpin is the only villain on the list that does not have enhanced powers.  He succeeded only with his intelligence, strength and ruthlessness. The Kingpin starts out and continues to be a Spiderman villain, but is best portrayed in the Daredevil books as the big bad.  The Arc that cements Kingpin status is Born Again by Frank Miller, where in Kingpin dismantles every aspect of Matt Murdock's life. It is dark and disturbing, especially Karen Page being addicted to Heroin and being a porn star, but a must read for all Daredevil fans. The Kingpin has been portrayed perfectly in the Netflix Daredevil show and his voice acting in Spiderman was pitch perfect.

8. Venom - Venom made his first appearance as the black suit in Spiderman. The black suit was amazing, looked cooler, sleeker and more badA$$y. Although Eddie Brock is the Venom that most people associate as the host figure, imagine if he had taken control over someone with powers like Quicksilver or Wolverine or what would be really cool is if he possessed The Hulk.  There have been good Venom stories, but nothing defining as a true classic.  The potential is there to be one of the best, but who is going to write it?

7. Apocalypse - Everyone I knew that was an X-Men fan was so excited that they were going to do Apocalypse on the big screen, except for those skeptics who think everything is terrible because it didn't stick to source material exactly. It was a big let down. However, in the comics he has some great stories. His four horsemen are always fascinating, especially Gambit as death.  When Apocalypse comes knocking you never know what is going to happen.

6. Doctor Octopus aka Otto Octavius - Anyone that has four extra unbreakable metal arms is alright in my book.  He is smart and powerful and has beaten Spiderman on a couple of occasions. A couple years ago, Doc Ock switched bodies with Spiderman and became Superior Spiderman. A lot of people were not happy with this turn of events. I thought the premise was great and showed what Doc Ock could have been and what Spiderman could have been if he could focus and think of the big picture and be a little more selfish. 

5. Loki - Loki is great and Tom Hiddleston played him perfectly and is now the voice of Loki. Loki ends up manipulating good guys into fighting other good guys which is one of my favorite tropes. He isn't the most powerful, but he is intelligent and sneaky.  Like most villains, always looking out for himself. They have been doing some different stuff with Loki Lately. Vote Loki has been pretty good.

4. Norman Osborne/Green Goblin - Norman Osborne is one of the most twisted villains of the Marvel Universe.  He may have one of the most awful/bizarre stories that Marvel has ever put out wherein he impregnated Gwen Stacey.  However, he does have other great stories and accomplishments like becoming director of Shield and forming the Dark Avengers.  His Glider and Pumpkin bombs are one of the best if not the best weapon that is used by a villain in the marvel universe. Norman Osborne always has a plan and has been close to beating Spiderman many times.

3. Doctor Doom aka Victor Von Doom - It seems like every 4th time Marvel does a cross over event Doctor Doom is the big evil in the event.  Even though Fantasic Four has been exiled to never never land right now, which some people think have to do with Fox owning the movie rights to the franchise and that Disney/Marvel doesn't want to help them.  I will be writing more about this soon. The story I like to go back to are the Books Of Doom by Ed Brubaker wherein the orgin of Doctor Doom is expanded.  Before I read this I was not a big fan of Doctor Doom and thought he was kind of lame, but this opened me up to other great stories.

2. Red Skull - The Red Skull was always one of my favorite Marvel villains as a kid because I always thought he was Skeletor's brother that would happen to appear in Marvel cartoons. I know I know, how could I think that, but hey I was sheltered with no cable or comics.  However, once I did start reading comics this was one villain that I wanted to learn more about. Red Skull does have some pretty hokey stories, but there are some great stories. I thought Red Skull getting Professor X's brain was an interesting concept, but the execution wasn't that great.  The whole Nazi aspect of his character is great, it is easy to hate him and what s more evil than people who want to kill people just for being different.

1. Magneto - Magneto is the best villain in the Marvel Universe because half the time you want him to win.  He has a lot of depth and character traits that are noble. It is easy to see his side and although you may not agree with him, you always understand why he is doing what he is doing.  Fatal
Attraction still is one of my favorite story lines and although nostalgia may get in the way, him ripping out Wolverines adamantium is still a great premise.  I loved the art and the so 90s holographic cover.  This is another character that every time I read him I hear the X-Men Animated Series voice in my head.